Green Light: Santa Claus’ travel restrictions lifted for Christmas Eve

Ottawa, Ontario — Politicians on both sides of the aisle are praising the decision made by Transport Canada on Thursday to allow famed children’s demigod Santa Claus to travel freely within Canadian borders on Christmas Eve.

Transport minister Omar Alghabra confirmed that Claus’ pre-flight plan has been double-checked, ensuring that there will not be a repeat of last year’s incident (we all remember, although we wish we could forget).

Some changes to Claus’s sleigh have been reported as well, as witnesses say they have seen the vehicle without its signature Carolina Squat, a practice which has been banned in several states over the past year.

As it stands, Claus is reportedly sober and ready for duty when his time comes to park on our roofs and invade our homes. God bless us everyone.

Minister Alghabra issued the following statement: “This year, I’m delighted to clear Santa and his crew for travel in Canadian skies. When I spoke to Santa, he assured me that he met all the pre-entry requirements to re-enter Canada and that he was committed to ensuring his safety, the safety of Canadians, and our transportation workers. I’d like to wish everyone a safe, happy and festive holiday season. Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!”


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