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CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS?!

BARKING BANDITS

We’re issuing a BOLO for these two canine culprits. A used car dealership in Texas saw its stock of vehicles attacked by two dogs last November. The facility said repairs could cost between US$100,000 to US$350,000—and they’d hardly believe it were true, had it not been for the video surveillance footage. Initially, the damage was thought to have been done by wolves—but a closer analysis reveals the damage was done at the paws of domesticated, or possibly stray dogs. According to the business targeted by these barking bandits, police said they could not intervene in the matter because a) no one was injured in the incident, and b) they are dogs.

Bail is being held at 1,800 bones. Beef chews are preferred.

LIGHTLY TOASTED

Note to self: when making toast, do not place your toaster underneath your vehicle. It may seem like common sense to you or me; but to one Copenhagen resident, this was the perfect way to defrost a chilly EV battery on a cool morning. Of course, the toaster ignited the battery, which then caused extensive damage to all parties involved: the car, the house and, most devastatingly to any breakfast aficionado, the toaster

Police are shocked that they have to “strongly discourage” the use of toasters as warming devices for cars…or anything other than bread products, really.
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